Love Languages

The basic idea is that there are multiple ways to feel and show love.

Five, actually.

According to https://5lovelanguages.com/:

• Quality Time

• Words of Affirmation

• Touch

• Acts of Service

• Gifts

And just like we speak many languages, most of us are stronger in “speaking” one or two of these. The classic example is the wife who seeks spending time with her husband, while the husband is outside changing her car’s oil to show Acts of Service as his love language. She is not getting Quality Time and therefore not feeling loved, and he is not feeling appreciated by his wife, who is strangely furious about him not sitting with her to watch a show.

As an example, it shows how again, if we are honest about what we need (or want), and it is our job to advocate - and ask for it.

“Hey, honey. Can you sit with me for a few minutes before you go out to fix the car? I’d like to tell you about my day”

If the wife just never asks for what she wants, she may end up with a very confused husband, who feels love through acts of service and cannot understand why she is so upset that he is always doing things for her (meanwhile she is not meeting his desire to feel appreciated for all he does). One is speaking an entirely different language, and they understand as much as if one spoke Japanese and one Italian.

As it is all our jobs to meet our own needs, it becomes important to know your own Love Language and those around you - so you can speak to your needs and let others know how to show they care.